It was time for dinner, and though street food and pop-up restaurants were generally our preference, there was one very lively place we had seen around the corner from our hotel. Seating was still outside, but there were uniformed waitstaff, tablecloths, and most importantly it was packed with a lively crowd of locals, many of whom were dressed for a big night out. I noticed a bit later that we were just about the oldest people there – this was a real Tet affair: all the 20 somethings back in town to visit family for the holiday were coming out with all their old friends. Somehow they found us an empty table hidden among a hundred others, and it was time for the menu. Oh, the menu:
Dishes of Appetite:
Beef Squeeze
Chopped Frog Salad
and in the snail section:
Twist Snails
Watery Palm Tree Snails
Greasy Snails
Swampy Large Snails
Flowery Snails
Jumping Snails (hopefully not off the plate)
Fingernail Snails
Garlicy Snails
Fragrant Snails ($50!)
Reddish Snails
Starry Snails
Canada Elephant Trunk Snails
Horse Snails
Velvet Snails
Angle Snails
Cana Shaped Snails
To be clear, these were snail varieties, not preparations; each was available served a number of ways.
Scallops, normally a safe choice, came in Bloody, Hairy, or Oceanic
Pork also seems safe, but here the options were Large Intestine, Pig Kidney, Dog Imitated (which the waiter would not let us order), Brain, Belly (which I’m sure was stomach, not uncured bacon).
Beef included Cow Marrow, Ox Penis (the one item that finally gave the kids a double take), and Ox Extra Toe
Poultry? Chicken Balls, Unmatured Egg (which we ordered, and was delicious: meaty, and in a sublimely rich butter sauce)
Next was
Tortoise…….market price (translation: the price is scarier than the food),
Leech
And, under the possibly kosher menu
Hemibagrus
Devil Face fish
Lizard Fish
Cow Skin Fish
Salmon Head
Sniper
And finally, for the squeamish:
Dishes of steamed rice gruels.
As for our meal, the duck tongue turned out to include the tonsils, and was flavorful but somewhat less meaty than I’d expected (I’d seen them regularly in the Asian markets at home).
It was a real holiday meal.
Josh, sounds yummy! Don’t forget the Pepcid AC. Keep well, travel safely, VR, Ron H
It takes more than Pepcid, but the local Bia Saigon does a servicable job. (Though unfortunately we haven’t had a proper Guinness since we left.)
Hi Note to self- I get to pick the restaurants. I know I’ve said anything but sushi but I think the list just got longer. Oh well I need to go on a diet anyway. Kidding aside it is always good to hear from you and the pictures are great. Give my love to all. Dorothy A.
No problem. By the time we see you in Australia I’m sure we’ll be ready for some regular fare… especially after what they supposedly eat in Papua New Guinea. Looking forward to seeing you there!
Correction: Its not What they eat in Papua New Guinea — its WHO they eat.
Hi! That’s so funny! At least there are also some more normal options on most menus, usually fried noodles and fried rice. We also like to play a game of trying to decipher what’s just a normal food with a weird translation or misspelling. You never know what you’re going to get! But in Vietnam the yummy stuff outweighed the questionable stuff, so my diet went out the window.
Your article title was PERFECT! You must be older than I thought to have absorbed that cultural reference… 😉
It’s nice to know that someone gets it!
It has been said that I was born an old man. My mother used to say that when I was born, I told the doctor what he did wrong. At any rate, that was the music of my high school years. If you want to know what I listen to now, you’ll have to stick around at Karaoke night past 1 next year…
Josh,
love reading your blog. How about something from Susie’s and the boys perspectives on all your adventures.
Elaina
MMMMMM……good! Keep it coming!
Thanks!!!!!!
Steve
Thanksgiving everyday!
You’ve all gastrically braver and have stronger stomachs than I do! Suzie, did you and the kids really eat those things?
They sound really delicious!
Must have been hard to choose from so many different types of snails. Do they offer a buffet?